HEARTBROKEN Joe Cullen returns to Ally Pally on Wednesday just two months after the sudden death of his mum to cancer.
The Rock Star – who produced an outstanding performance in defeat to Michael van Gerwen 12 months ago – faces Welshman Jim Williams in the final match of the afternoon session.
These will be the first worlds since beloved mum Pam passed away aged 56 from lung cancer in October.
Cullen, 32, said: “I’ve had better years to be honest.
“Towards the end my mum told me to be everything you can. Try to win as much as you can. And that’s what I’m trying to do.
“She came to the World Matchplay Blackpool in July when I played Chris Dobey. Before the match she said she probably wouldn’t get to see me play again a proper game.
“That’s why afterwards I got a bit emotional on stage. I didn’t plan it.
That memory will stick with me for a bit.
“It might have been a bit trivial to people, a first-round game in Blackpool but it meant a lot to me in the context of things.
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“Her lung cancer was diagnosed on her birthday – June 30 – and she passed away on October 9. It was really quick, the decline was so rapid.
“She was fine for a few months and then we realised: S***, it’s happening now.
“To be honest the darts is good, it’s a distraction. It’s when you sit at home on your own, that’s when it hits you.
“When you sit and think about the reality of things is when it hits home the most.
“It’s been brutal. I didn’t really practice for three or four months because of my mum.
“But she’s at rest now and I can try and move on in terms of my darts and do her proud.”
To be honest the darts is good, it’s a distraction. It’s when you sit at home on your own, that’s when it hits you.
Joe CullenWhen people complain that Cullen has lost or been knocked out early, they perhaps don’t realise that behind the scenes, away from the intensity of the oche, he has endured an extremely difficult time.
Of the many tattoos he has, the glasses one behind his ear is a tribute to his cousin, who passed away two years ago at the age of 38.
Cullen said: “One day he woke up with a headache – and then he had a brain haemorrhage. I used to see him 2-3 times a week.
“He was nicknamed four eyes. I was going to get Shaun across my knuckles because that was his name. But I thought the glasses were more of a fitting tribute.
“In the same year that Shaun died, we lost darts player James Barton, who had been on the Tour. Then one of my best friends took his own life last March.”
Cullen’s clash with Van Gerwen in last year’s fourth round was a real classic.
The Bradford battler was 3-1 up, hit 19 180s and missed two match darts at the bullseye before losing in a sudden-death leg.
He knows it is time he consistently delivers on the big stages and fulfils the prophecy of the late Sid Waddell, who was a huge fan.
The world No.13 said: “Sid used to say nice things about. He said I had star quality.
“Whenever our paths crossed, we’d have a word. He only lived 20 minutes up the road from me in Pudsey. Maybe that’s why he singled me out because I lived local.
“I think I was maybe just a bit too lazy to start with. My development has been hindered by myself.
“If I’d had the right attitude 4-5 years before I took it really seriously, I’d be a lot better now.
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“It got to the stage when you’re playing behind closed doors in places like Barnsley and Wigan and I was getting beaten by players I shouldn’t be. It was time to take a look at myself and my game.
“That was the turning point. I wasn’t expecting to win so I put the work in for a solid year to see what happened and I’ve reaped the benefits.”
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